Hello Madrid

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I’m back in Madrid for the first time in nearly five years. It seems almost impossible that it’s been that long. I have a nervous energy that’s similar to calling an estranged friend. “I’m sorry, I should have called sooner…” Anything to blurt out to break the ice. A guilty energy. To my surprise I’ve missed the ...

German Sarcasm

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I watch the table in front of me bark orders at the waiter. He scrambles backwards into the kitchen. After he’s done filling their requests, he circles to my table. He bends over to clear the plate in front of me. I’ve eaten everything, there’s barely any indication that there was food on the plate. “How ...

That Taste in the Morning

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I haven’t listened to any music for over a week. I can’t remember the last time I went a day without filling every quiet moment with background noise. But now it’s silent and I can’t bring myself to listen again. Lyrics from different songs continue to run through my head: “Black eyed angels swam with ...

Can’t Tell the Difference

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“Being with you, is like being with someone who is in love with someone else.” She said it casually, as if she had just realized it were true. And it is true. “And now I think I’m right,” she finished. I had been talking about the other person for nearly 20 minutes without realizing it. The girl should ...

Daytime Downtown

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One of the things about getting older is that I don’t have as much time as I used to. But the loss of time doesn’t seem to bother me. I never truly appreciated it anyway. I always had a tendency to flow to the lowest common denominator. And what I know now is you only ...

The Engine

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I’ve been reading a lot of science fiction. Probably too much science fiction. The book I’m reading now is a strange novel from the 80’s called Armor. In it, the main character has an internal locus of survival that he calls, “The Engine”. It pushes him, drives him forward, and keeps him alive. It kicks ...

Extrapolating Nothing

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A girl flew from Park City to visit me in Denver. A local girl, I met her while I was there for Sundance. We had texted back and forth for awhile before she booked her flight. Despite the wide-rimed glasses she wears, it didn’t take long after she arrived to realize that we had little in ...

Living on memories

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The plane continues to sit on the runway of the Frankfurt airport, the CGI instructional video playing over and over on a loop that streams into the seats. A rare delay for an ugly and efficient airport. This time I leave Germany in relatively the same state as when I arrived. When I was younger, I ...

Pedestrian

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I’m sitting in a Doctor’s office in Munster, Germany. I can’t even truly tell what’s wrong with me. I was woken up in the night by a screaming in my ear. I thought it was a siren on the street coming towards me, until the headache kicked in, and then I realized it was within ...