If there’s one drum that my therapist beats over and over, it’s the dialectical. And I find it as grating, as I do, true. Given that much of my innate nature tends towards the extremes.
Take even something like judgement. ‘I shouldn’t judge’, (a statement with it’s own self-contained judgement). I often find myself believing this statement. And yet, there are times when I do need to judge. I need to judge to determine if I’m safe or if I should move forward with a business transaction. But it can also be blindness. You start to see things not as they are, but through the lens of your dream. And eventually the shadows against the cave wall become your reality.
That’s where the dialectical comes in. It isn’t one or the other. It never was. And despite my brain’s best effort to figure it out, there is nothing to figure out. It’s the subjective balance of multiple realities.
Even the traits that I define as my ‘essence’ – loving, creative, adventurous, open; are more generalities, than absolutes. They are what most often define me. There are also times when I want to lay on the couch under a blanket all day. And times when I want to live in my own closed comfortable bubble of reality rather than walk open and vulnerable through the world.
It’s hard to be human. I genuinely feel for anyone that has to do it.