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I wake up almost every morning (or night) with a song in my end.

Often a new song. It’s rarely one that repeats for long.

Sometimes I like the song. Sometimes it’s annoying as shit. How I feel about it has no bearing on how long it will echo through my mind.

Today I woke up with Big Thief’s Not.

Normally, I try not to peel apart meaning in the song that my my brain has chosen, because I’m afraid it will just lodge itself even deeper.

But today, the lyrics that kept repeating seemed to resonate: “You’re not the hunger revealing or the ricochet in a cage”.

The lyrics remind me of my life this past year. Deprivation and claustrophobia. And the hunger and desperation those things bring about in me.

As the snow melts it’s easier to see the world again. And I’m curious what this fallow and trapped period has incubated.