Human

Posted on 3 min read

On the way to Amsterdam I watch a movie called My Generation. It’s a movie that I simultaneously love, and that twists me into mental knots, because of the narrator: Michael Caine.  

On the way to Amsterdam I watch a movie called My Generation. It’s a movie that I simultaneously love, and that twists me into mental knots, because of the narrator: Michael Caine.  

In the absence of flesh and blood role models growing up, he was one of the replacements. I used to watch and analyze his movie scenes: how he would move through a room, where his eyes would go, and the words he would use. It probably didn’t build good life long habits.

Because that’s the nature of behavior. They’re products of their place and time. Long before the recent reckoning of male chauvinism, watching Alfie would make me cringe (which Michael tries to acknowledge by apologizing for calling women ‘birds’). 

But that’s also why Alfie is a good movie. Because it doesn’t give a shit about the cultural perception you have when watching it. And as repulsive as you might find it, something will resonate. And then you’ll have to reconcile what you’re drawn to in a personality that is in such direct conflict with your sensibilities.

I struggle to keep pace with the cultural changes. The parameters of guilt are determined at the time of judgement, not action. As a result, if I’m not guilty today, I will almost certainly be tomorrow. 

That’s the risk and the fear in working on a book for over a decade. It becomes a time piece, when you really just want it to be human. 

In the absence of flesh and blood role models growing up, he was one of the replacements. I used to watch and analyze his movie scenes: how he would move through a room, where his eyes would go, and the words he would use. It probably didn’t build good life long habits.

Because that’s the nature of behavior. They’re products of their place and time. Even before the recent reckoning of 90’s and 00’s male chauvinism, watching Alfie would make me cringe (which Michael acknowledges by apologizing for calling women ‘birds’). 

But that’s also why Alfie is a good movie. Because it doesn’t give a shit about the cultural perception you have when watching it. And as repulsive as you mind find it, something will resonate. And then you’ll have to reconcile what you’re drawn to in a personality that is in such direct conflict with your sensibilities.

I struggle to keep pace with the cultural changes. The parameters of guilt are determined at the time of judgement, not action. If I’m not guilty today, I will almost certainly be tomorrow. 

That’s the risk and the fear in working on a book for over a decade. It becomes a time piece, when you really just want it to be human.